This is going to be a quick post on the key lessons I’ve learnt in 2018. I hope in sharing these that you can take something from them and maybe learn something new in 2019.
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What I learned in 2018
Tag: Mental Health
That special time of year has arrived once again, no I’m not talking about Christmas as that was last month, I’m talking about the annual January purge with the arrival of the New Year, New Me movement.
The time is upon us once more, a new year is here with a feeling of new beginnings for many.
The infamous new year, new me movement is currently invading your local gym and many people are taking these first few weeks of the year to ponder what their resolutions for the year ahead should be.
New year resolutions are an age-old tradition within our society.
They actually date back to 4,000 years ago. The ancient Babylonians are thought to have been the first people to make New Year’s resolutions.
If we were to unpack the purpose of resolutions, my simple take would be that these serve the purpose of the pursuit of betterment in one’s life. Identifying things we don’t enjoy about our lives at this moment and doing something about it.
Of course this can be a great activity to partake in if done in a thoughtful and sustainable way.
This piece hasn’t been written to knock resolutions or the pursuit of developing oneself. Rather, it provides an alternative method to support you in building sustainable changes in your life over the next 12 months.
I personally find traditional resolutions to be less than effective for many.
I think we can all find examples of the same people who set the same resolutions each year and still feel no closer to those changes 10 years later.
What could we do instead?
A proposal that I’d like to ask you to think about involves putting what you know about the concept of resolutions to one side.
Instead, let’s do a simple review and reflection of the year that’s just been.
This is an activity that I’ve been doing over the last few years.
Historically I’ve set macro goals for each year
I break these down into micro levels of what I needed to achieve by certain points of the year so I can fulfil those main goals.
However I find this approach to be cumbersome, stressful and often led to many of these goals rolling into the next year as I had set unrealistic time frames for a lot of them.
I made the decision to step away from using the beginning of each year to set out a list of new goals to try to achieve. Instead, I pursued a new approach in using this time to reflect and review what has just passed.
This allowed me to see a number of things including:
- What went well
- What I enjoyed
- Memorable events
- What I can work on in the year ahead
In taking the time to reflect and review these points, I’m able to identify the things that made me happy and went well (even those I didn’t expect would).
This provides me with a sense of achievement and peace.
Plus, it helps with not falling into that mental zone of beating myself up because I feel like I haven’t done anything to progress in the previous 12 months.
Of course, these are not set in stone.
They will no doubt evolve over the year in a few ways depending on what life throws at me.
Personally I find this approach more meaningful.
You should take time to appreciate your successes.
Smile at the things that make you happy. Rejoice at the habits, behaviours and experiences that you continue to implement which provide growth.
I combine this with key questions ask myself throughout the year.
These makes sure I’m clear on what I value and want to do more of.
What you can do: A framework to develop sustainable habits and behaviours
- Grab a piece of paper or open a word document, divide the page into three columns. Now label one – What went well? The second: What did I enjoy? And the last as: What can I work on?
- Now spend 30 minutes reviewing the last 12 months. Place the thoughts that come into your head in each column.
- Once you’ve completed this, make sure (and this is the really important bit) to read all of your responses in depth to really appreciate everything you’ve noted.
- The final step is to look over your what can I work on column. Take the final part of your reflection session to produce the 3-5 top things you want to work on in the year ahead.
Do remember these don’t need to be complicated.
They could be as simple as I only read 10 books last year, so this year I want to read 15.
Or I want to increase my meditation sessions from twice a week. So, maybe I’ll commit to 3 sessions a week this year and see how it goes.
The key is to appreciate your starting point.
Too many of us don’t understand that goals need to be personalised to where we are right now. This is why many of us fall down in the second week of the year, we simply ask too much too soon.
A common example of this being when people want to improve their physical fitness.
Let’s say person x wishes to improve their physical fitness this year, great, so what do they do?
In my approach, you would review your starting point and what’s happened over the past 12 months.
- What physical activities have you been doing?
- How many times a week do you do these?
- Do these supplement your lifestyle?
These are important points to review before making plans for the next 12 months.
You might then say, I already workout twice a week. I feel like a 3rd session will bring more benefits to my lifestyle. Great, you’ve assessed your starting point, feel you can add a bit more and assessed that this is a sustainable change.
Sadly, this is not the approach many of us take.
We often come from a place of having no historical physical activity practice and then jump into a gruelling body and mind crushing routine of hitting the gym 5-6 times a week.
This leads to said people running themselves into the ground with no energy. Those resolutions are out the door by week 2 of the new year.
Going forward
Instead of resolutions, why not consider a time of review and reflection.
Build sustainable habits, behaviours and routines
I’m not saying it’s the one answer that will work for you.
It’s an alternative. It could be the more successful approach to making the changes you really want.
So, what’s it going to be?
Follow the 99% or do something different?
Before you go… 👋
If you like my writing and think “Hey, I’d like to hear more of what this guy has to say” then you’re in luck.
You can join me every Tuesday morning for more tools, templates and insights for the modern L&D pro in my weekly newsletter.
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One of the most asked questions I have from people that read my blog and articles across other platforms has been around what do I consume to develop my own mindset, my skills and support in my continued evolution.
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Disconnection in a connected world
We live in a unique time where technology has advanced at such a stellar pace that it’s enabled humanity to do many wonderful feats.
We can’t deny that right now we have the most advanced methods of real time communication in existence, with the ability to stay connected to everyone and everything, wherever we are in the world — so why are so many of us feeling more disconnected from the world and others than ever?
It would seem the rise of social media has made it simpler to keep connected with current relations and easier to build new social communities too, but with the good has also come the bad.
We see multiple reports of online bullying, information overload, fake news, never ending product placements and more that are impacting our mental health.
It’s also very difficult for our primitive minds to live within smaller tribes for most of our existence and then be thrust into connection with anyone from any corner of our planet, being exposed to data that we would have never come into contact with 20 years ago.
Social media is only one element of a bigger theme of technology and digital innovation, that I feel is creating these larger waves of disconnection.
I don’t want anyone to misunderstand me and think I’m a technology hater, nothing could be further from the truth. I’m a total techie geek and have been since a young age, I believe the dawn of new technologies has brought great improvements to our world, yet it’s our relationship and application of these great innovations that should be a cause for concern.
What does the data and research tells us?
As with anything in my life when I’m searching for truth and understanding, I look at data to see what insights it can give me.
So firstly, let’s take a closer look at social media and it’s impact on society in recent years.
It’s reported that 2.46 billion people, that’s roughly 71% of those with access to the internet worldwide are using social media platforms according to research from 2017. This number is expected to jump to 2.77 billion by 2019.
Who’s the king of social platforms?
So which social media platform has the most users worldwide? As of July 2018, Facebook leads the way with nearly 2.2 billion active users and its sister company Instagram has just hit the 1 billion mark.
(You can find updated figures over at Statista if you’re reading this article in the future)
How long are we spending on these platforms?
It’s estimated from current research, that we’ll spend at least 5 years worth of our life accessing various social media accounts. In 2017, the average time a person spent on social media per a day was 135 minutes, this is a 23%increase from 2015 and a 7% increase compared to 2016.
What does this mean for our mental wellbeing and happiness?
If we take a look at the world happiness index over the last few years, it shows us that the Nordic regions dominate the top 5 of this list.
In 2018 the world’s happiest regions looked like this:
- Finland
- Norway
- Denmark
- Iceland
- Switzerland
So it seems that the Nordic people are in a state of bliss, but are they all really like this? Even the happiest on earth have their troubles and the Nordic regions are no different.
Recent research into data covering a 5 year span from 2012–2016 in these regions has uncovered a number of interesting insights. It was found that 12.3% of people across these regions had stated they were struggling or suffering.
If we look at at specific group, such as 16–24 year olds the results are even more interesting and especially since this is the first full generation who’ve gown up in the digital world, being constantly connected. The big insight here is that more than ever, mental health issues are on the rise and impacting several generations.
18.3% of people from this group in Denmark said they suffer from poor mental health and this number rose in women from the same age group to 23.8%.
Norway has seen a 40% increase over the 5 year period of the younger generation seeking support for their mental health.
An overall rise across all Nordic regions in poor mental health has been recognised in young people both men and women.
I’m only looking at the Nordic regions in this example, yet I believe we see trends here in the younger generation that are replicated throughout the world with poor mental health and technology addiction on the rise — surely this is no coincidence?
One of the main reasons cited for unhappiness in these countries was loneliness, which I find fascinating as we have so many channels to communicate today, but it feels like many of us are lonelier than ever. We should remember that although these regions are seeing a rise in these issues, they are still amongst the happiest on earth and for good reason. An average of 87% of people across the Nordic regions reported themselves to be thriving, yet the rise in young people reporting to be struggling should be a cause for concern and a warning to take a closer look at the reasons behind this.
We are living in a time of information overload
Why is poor mental health and general suffering on the rise across our population?
I feel we have a couple of themes that are contributing to the difficulties that not just young people, but people from all generations are having to contend with:
Real time digital connection
The last 10 years is really the first time in history, where we have been truly connected to everyone and everything in the world 24/7. It used to be that communicating with your relatives in Australia was dealt with via a postcard or letter that would take several weeks to arrive, but now we shoot a Whatsapp message or jump on a video call — of course this is brilliant, yet not without it’s drawbacks.
This has also meant we can connect and be exposed to multiple streams of content from any corner of the earth in seconds, forcing the primitive operating system in our heads to digest mountains of information constantly.
While great in some cases, it can become unmanageable quickly and challenging for many to navigate, it also makes our world feel a little smaller too. Too much of a good thing can be dangerous and in this case the relationship with being plugged in to all things at all times, is one that needs to be redefined.
Social media — real people, fake life?
The obvious channel that is always picked on is social media and for a number of reasons. Personally, I’d say 80% of what you see on Instagram and Facebook is all fake, fabricated versions of a life people want you to believe they have and want you to sell you too, so you’ll buy their latest product which of course will 10x your life, allow you to travel the world and raise unicorns.
Yet social media is not the big bad and it’s not inherently evil, it’s just how we’ve decided to engage with it as an society. It’s a tool after all, which means our experiences with these platforms are in our control.
We don’t have to get lost down a black hole of Instagram for 5 hours, but unfortunately this happens to many of us and too often.
There are great pro’s for these platforms such as allowing connectivity to friends and family across the world, enabling continuous learning with knowledge sharing on numerous subjects. Sadly though, the negatives seem to far out way the positives due to human behaviours and trying to make a quick buck in an unhealthy way for other people.
Information overload
Bundles of information are coming from everywhere, like streams of water smashing against your face when you’re under a waterfall, constant and difficult to navigate, sometimes becoming uncontrollable without any notice.
Smartphones have allowed us to break free from the chains of our desk bound devices, allowing us to access information at the swipe of a finger and kept up to date on anything we want. Whilst this is amazing for so many reasons, it’s also overwhelming at the same time, with so much to consume, how do we manage this flow in a healthy way? better yet, how do we know what’s real or fake?
Even access to the general gossip of life is easier than ever through services like WhatsApp and endless other messaging products. You can create multiple groups to share reams of information with anyone at anytime so everyone is in the know about everyone’s business, whether you wanted to know or not. The art of choice seems to be lost in some ways with so much content shoved in your face, it’s like drowning from your own consumption.
We don’t see each other anymore, like really see each other
That’s because we are too busy doing it through a screen and hiding behind text messages. There’s an obvious rise in global loneliness and the interesting insight is that social media can actually be a great tool to combat this, yet it seems to be making it worse. But why is this? I believe it’s because we’ve gone too far down the digital rabbit hole and focus so much on our online life that we never look up from our screens to focus on what’s in front of us — our real life.
Yes it’s easier than ever to connect with a friend through your phone, but is this a real connection. I mean, it’s easy to send a text or engage in an emotional conversation digitally without actually showing any emotion, but not so in person.
When was the last time you have met up with a friend in real life to have a 2 hour in person conversation over tea instead of a Whatsapp thread? do you notice the difference you feel when you actually see someone in physical form as opposed to just their latest profile picture popping up on your screen. We are social beings and you’d think social media would enable us even more, but it’s not, we are losing parts of us that make us so unique — our abilities to converse, interact and connect in groups.
Now more than ever, I see people struggle in normal day to day conversation and engaging with other people. I see this even more in the younger generation, those who truly are digital natives. It seems they’ve been so stuck in their technology and communicating through devices, that they’ve not learned how to have a real conversation with anyone but Alexa or Siri.
We don’t know how to manage our relationships with technology
I’m hoping you’ll be in agreement with me on this final point. The types of technological innovations we have experienced in the last 20 years have come fast and evolve so often, that we’ve yet to really define how we work with them, rather than these controlling us. As in any good relationship, you need a framework of trust and boundaries.
The big thing I don’t see from people is setting boundaries with their use of technology and understanding the physical and mental issues that can arise from such intense experiences. We only have to look at the increase in reports of phone addiction globally to see we have a problem, we even have rehabilitation centres now that specifically focus on social media and technology addiction due to the out of control relationships we have with these products — who would have thought these would be the problems we face 20 years ago when the Nokia 3310 first appeared?
What to take away from this
- Social media isn’t bad, it has the power to do so much good if used in the right way.
- Technology is not bad, again it’s how it’s applied and your relationship with it that will determine what experience you have.
- There is always Yin and Yang — you cannot have good without bad, there always needs to be balance in anything in life.
- Manage yourself, define your relationship with technology — discipline equals freedom.
What can you do
You have lots of opportunities to help yourself and others in creating healthier relationships to enable a culture of real connection, not one of disconnection through the realms of the digital world.
- Focus more on your real life, not just your Instagram profile
- Meetup with friends and family in the real world, not just through your phone screen
- Define the relationship you’ve created with digital services/platforms and find a healthy way to manage it with set boundaries.
Ultimately, the digital world and all the cool innovations we have access to are amazing, we all love them, but it’s clear that we need to evaluate our relationships with these things to make sure we aren’t disconnected too.
We have a big world out there, full of people to share stories with, experiences to be part of and much more.
Before you go… 👋
If you like my writing and think “Hey, I’d like to hear more of what this guy has to say” then you’re in luck.
You can join me every Tuesday morning for more tools, templates and insights for the modern L&D pro in my weekly newsletter.
