Tag: Personal Development

No year sounds more Blade Runner-esque to me than 2025.

Each year, we quickly find ourselves deep in one of the biggest human rituals of the year.

You know what I’m talking about – New Year’s Resolutions.

For the record, I think they’re a cup of sugar, honey, ice and tea (figure that one out). Plus, for whatever reason, companies decide that it’s also a good time for performance reviews and mass goal-setting exercises.

Of course, nothing can be better than returning to work after the festive season to have your performance rated. It’s practically the delayed Christmas present no one wants.

As you’ve most likely guessed, I’m not a resolutions or goals type of guy.

New Year’s resolutions are an age-old tradition.

They date back to 4,000 years ago. The ancient Babylonians are thought to have been the first people to make New Year’s resolutions.

Sadly, by February, most New Year’s goals/resolutions are nothing more than forgotten bullet points. In fact, a whopping 92% of people fail to reach their new year goals.

We all know the same people who set the same resolutions each year and still feel no closer to those changes 10 years later.

The non-obvious prison of goals and resolutions

Before anyone grabs their pitchforks and fire, I’m not saying goals are awful.

Every tool has its time and place. If you want to use goals for work, life and your career, that’s great. What I’m offering is an alternative to the status quo. Context is key with everything, so do what works for you.

With that out of the way, here’s why I’m not a big fan of goals and resolutions:

• They often force a success or fail mentality
• They prioritise immediate and definitive outcomes over enduring habits
• For the most part, they’re quite rigid. Life changes, and as such, goals must too
• 90% of people don’t recognise their starting place, nor the environment, mindset and motivators needed to achieve these

That’s my case to you.

So, what do I THE GOAL HATING DEMON do instead?

I do two things:

1. A yearly life review
2. Revisit and update my principles.

It’s not for everyone, but this might save you from the tyranny of prison that goals can create.

Do a review

We’re so quick to set goals for a new year that we never consider what has passed.

I’m guilty of this.

I’ve never been one to indulge myself in wins. You might call me a ‘and onto the next one’ kinda guy. I like to think it’s stoic.

Perhaps a better word than ‘review’ would be round-up.

I’m not reviewing life like a performance review would, but rather recognising what has been. Think of it like a Spotify Wrapped but for life moments of the last 12 months.

This roundup will form the foundation of what you want to build in the year ahead.

I like these because they help build a broad picture with multiple data points. Most people set goals/resolutions based on ambitions that are not backed by data.

No one person can know where to go next if they don’t recognise where they’ve been.

These reviews help me with both my sanity and avoiding recency bias. Until I did my latest review last week, I’d convinced myself that 2024 was just a ‘meh’ year for me.

But spending the time to see all the moments laid out in front of me, gave me so many ‘ah that was a good thing’ notes.

It’s funny how that happens.

How can you know where to go next if you don’t know where you’ve come from?

How to do your review

1. Grab a piece of paper or open a word document, divide the page into three columns. Now label one – What went well? The second: What did I enjoy? And the last as: What can I work on?
2. Now spend 30 minutes reviewing the last 12 months. Place the thoughts that come into your head in each column.
3. Once you’ve completed this, make sure (and this is the really important bit) to read all of your responses in depth to appreciate everything you’ve noted.
4. The final step is to look over your what can I work on column. Take the final part of your reflection session to produce the 3-5 top things you want to work on in the year ahead.

Your answers don’t need to be complicated.

This isn’t an EOY review for work. This exercise aims to understand your starting point for the year ahead.

Goals often fail because they’re not personalised to where you are right now. This is why many fall down in the second week of the year, we simply ask too much too soon.

A common example of this is when people want to improve their physical fitness.

Let’s say person x wishes to improve their physical fitness this year, great, so what do they do?

In my approach, they would review their starting point by exploring what’s happened over the past 12 months.

• What physical activities have you been doing?
• How many times a week do you do these?
• Do these supplement your lifestyle?

These are important points to review before building plans for the next 12 months.

Let’s say they work out twice a week.

A 3rd session might be a logical next step if it suits their current lifestyle.

Sadly, this is not the approach many of us take.

Too many come from a place of having no historical physical practice and jump into a gruelling body and soul-crushing routine of hitting the gym 5-6 times a week.

They think they’ll become that ‘ripped actor’ in just a few weeks.

But they’re wrong. Instead, they run themselves into the ground, and those goals/resolutions are dead by the second month of 2025.

Setting principles, not goals

Sooo the controversial bit.

Instead of huge lists of goals, I build, revisit and refresh an annual set of principles. Again, this isn’t for everyone, so don’t feel pressured to use it if it doesn’t work for you.

Context, friend. Everything is about context (that might be my word of 2025 already).

I use principles to shape and guide my behaviour, reasoning and decisions across my business, finances, wellbeing and more. I thrive in a framework of principles that encourage me to do the right things consistently rather than chasing defined endpoints.

A lot of this comes down to personal motivation. Principles motivate me more than goals.

FYI, a quick definition of principles – yes, I asked ChatGPT:

A principle is a fundamental truth, belief, or proposition that serves as the foundation for a system of behaviour, reasoning and understanding. They act as guiding rules or standards to shape decisions, actions, and judgments across various contexts.

Why principles?

I look at principles as guiding frameworks.

Rather than fixed targets (goals), they serve as touchstones that influence actions and decision-making. It’s easier for them to grow with you too.

Whereas goals are more focused on ‘what you want to do,’ principles are about who you want to be.

As an example, I could set a goal of “read 5 books this year”, which is never going to happen btw, or set a principle like ‘Dedicate time to exploring new knowledge and applying it meaningfully’.

Get what I mean?

How to craft your principles

If you’re interested in crafting your own set of principles for 2025, I look at this in 5 steps:

1. Reflect/establish your values
2. Define commitments
3. Keep them visible
4. Don’t be afraid to change
5. Use them daily

Let’s unpack these in a little more detail.

1/ Establish your values

This is never an easy task.

I always hated being asked this one when I was younger. For some reason, age has made it easier to define.

Principles should reflect your personal values, not external expectations.

A simple way to approach this is by identifying what truly matters to you.

2/ Define commitments

Here we translate those values into guiding principles.

We’re not in the business of confining ourselves to a rigid goal.

As an example, instead of saying “I’m going to exercise five times a week for 52 weeks of the next year”, reframe this to a principle of “I’m going to prioritise daily movement and healthier choices”.

Subtle and small but enduring.

3/ Keep them visible

Principles aren’t something you write on a performance review submitted on an HR platform that you don’t see till this time next year.

They’re living reminders, not ideas you write once and forget.

Keep them top of mind by placing them in visible spots. I have mine on a chalkboard next to my desk, and in a notes app on my phone.

4/ Don’t be afraid to change

Life changes, and so should your principles.

Goals have a win or lose mentality, whereas principles are more aligned with how life plays out. If life priorities have changed, then don’t be afraid to adapt your principles.

You can do this with goals too.

There’s no need to be trapped by them.

5/ Use them daily

Like most things in life, principles aren’t much use if you don’t use them.

They guide not just what you do but how you approach decisions.

When faced with a choice, ask: “Which option aligns most with my principles?” If priorities conflict, let your principles clarify what matters most.

[P.S. You can get my thoughts on making goal setting really work with some strategies you won’t find as part of the status quo].

📝 Final thoughts

Look, none of this is easy.

It’s not a magic potion, either. It’s an alternative to the norm, and if you’ve been hitting brick walls with goals, it might be worth a look.

Life is never about perfection.

Being consistent and intentional is the best that each of us can do.

As always, these are strategies that work for me. Context is key in everything. Principles won’t be for everyone, I know that.

No matter your method, I hope we can come back this time next year and share our stories.

In sum:

• Don’t chase the New Year high
• Adapt and evolve
• Leverage the environment and motivators unique to your context

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Before you go… 👋

If you like my writing and think “Hey, I’d like to hear more of what this guy has to say” then you’re in luck.

You can join me every Tuesday morning for more tools, templates and insights for the modern L&D pro in my weekly newsletter.

We’re often told if we want to achieve our dreams, we just need to set some goals.

But is it really that simple?

While I’ve shared my approach with utilising principles instead of goals for my performance, this doesn’t mean goals are bad.

They’re a tool, and depending on the environment, goals can be useful. I can’t challenge the status quo of goal setting without doing my research on the pitfalls.

Below is a short round-up on what I uncovered and how you (if you choose to use goals) can make goal setting really valuable.

You need more than motivation

According to research, a whopping 92% of people fail to reach their new year goals.

That’s a lot of people not achieving what they set out to do. So, what’s the problem?

Well, it turns out that motivation alone isn’t always enough.

Sure, it’s great to be fired up and ready to take on the world, but what happens when that initial burst of motivation wears off? That’s where follow-through comes in.

Peter Bregman wrote an article for HBR where he suggests that the real issue is not motivation, but follow-through.

And he’s right, to a certain extent. You can be motivated all you want, but if you don’t follow through on your commitments, you’re not going to achieve much.

Introduce a little anarchy

Not everyone is motivated by the same things.

Some people are all about positive goal setting, while others are more motivated by the fear of missing out or the consequences of not taking action.

I fall into the category of motivation by fear of what I don’t want in life (which is something I learnt from Tim Ferriss in his fear-setting talk).

(Get more detail from Tim on his thinking on this topic)

This thinking stems from the concept of loss aversion.

This fancy psychological concept suggests that we’re more motivated by the fear of losing something than the prospect of gaining something. In other words, we’re more likely to take action to avoid a negative outcome than to pursue a positive outcome.

So, you’re saying I should be driven by fear?

Well, it means that setting fears instead of goals might be more effective for some people.

When we set goals, we tend to focus on the outcome we want to achieve. And while that can be motivating in the short term, it can also create anxiety and stress if we’re not making progress as quickly as we’d like.

Setting fears, on the other hand, allows us to focus on the consequences of not taking action. It might sound a bit negative, but it can actually be a really powerful motivator for some folks.

For example, let’s say you’re trying to save money.

Setting a fear of not being able to pay your bills or having to work longer hours might be more effective than setting a positive goal of achieving financial freedom.

An adaptable goal setting formula

Having spent over a decade helping people set goals for personal and professional development. I have a long list of case studies of the good, bad and ugly.

What’s key is building an approach specific to you.

Cookie-cutter templates are great as a standing point, but it’s your job to mould them to your unique style.

To achieve our goals, we need:

1. The right environment
2. The right mindset
3. Specific motivators

Consider these the next time you’re thinking about setting goals for yourself.

It’s not enough to simply write them down and hope for the best.

Instead, focus on creating an environment that supports your efforts, and adapt your approach as needed.

Final thoughts

Look, none of this is easy.

It’s not a magic potion, either. It’s an alternative to the norm, and if you’ve been hitting brick walls with goals, it might be worth a look.

Life is never about perfection.

Being consistent and intentional is the best that each of us can do.

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Before you go… 👋

If you like my writing and think “Hey, I’d like to hear more of what this guy has to say” then you’re in luck.

You can join me every Tuesday morning for more tools, templates and insights for the modern L&D pro in my weekly newsletter.